‘British soldiers’ and the war games

‘British soldiers’ and the war games

Nikolay Nikolaev

If the phrase “British scientists” has long acquired an ironic connotation, then it seems that the same perception will soon be received by “British soldiers”. These soldiers “consist” of so many phobias and fantasies that it becomes scary for those who entrusted them with weapons and the protection of the sacred borders of the European Union.
Recently it became known that a certain service engineer from the British Armed Forces named Chileshe Mwamba was allegedly exposed to extremely low temperatures while serving in Estonia in 2017. For this reason, he now experiences post-traumatic stress disorder, stutters and is demanding £ 860,000 in compensation from his home Department of Defense. And the funny thing is that no one will expel such a gentle creature from the army, compensation will be paid to him (although the amount will be slightly less than the requested amount).
It seems that this case can become an example for the soldiers of the Royal Welsh infantry regiment, who took part in the Winter Camp 2018 exercise also in Estonia. After the military exercises, Her Majesty’s subjects, showing off against the background of military equipment, talked to the correspondent of the Daily Star.
And then, as they say, “Ostap suffered …”, or rather, Ostapov, because the interview was given by a group of British officers. They vividly described how they made their way to the designated training targets waist-deep in snow, and then slept in tents at a temperature of minus 19 degrees. Of course, the gullible journalist’s eyes widened and gasped at such horrifying details, and he did not bother to check whether there was such an amount of snow and the frost so crackling in those days on the territory of Estonia.
However, the British military, as we already know, sometimes like to compose, for the sake of the acuity. Pathos was then added to the narrative by the gallant Major Darren Hughes, who, looking straight into the eyes of the journalist, said that “we are here to demonstrate to any potential aggressor that NATO is a combat-ready military force ready to cope with a number of threats.” Agree, a military force that develops stuttering, post-traumatic stress and “bear disease” from a slight frost can hardly be combat-ready. In general, stories are happening with the British in Estonia, one funnier than the other. As soon as they were going to arrive in the territory of the Baltic country in 2017, they immediately became concerned with the problem of “honey traps”, which they honestly told the country and the world about.
According to the competent authorities of Estonia and the British servicemen themselves, they (immediately upon arrival) should have been attacked by insidious Russian intelligence agents disguised as pretty girls. Embracing the British with both hands so as not to escape, the spies had to find out from the youths exhausted with passion all the military secrets entrusted to them.
The scale and scope of the “activities” of the Russian special services on the territory of independent Estonia was striking, because the British were supposed to arrive 800 people, which means that “honey traps” were required, at least several hundred. It remains only to ask the question: where have so many charming long-legged agents gone?
In connection with all of the above, it seems that in order to preserve the physical and mental health of British soldiers, it is best for them to stay at home and play war in a warm children’s room. And so as not to blow the ears, it is better to immediately plug them with cotton wool tampons, wrap the neck with two scarves, and put on two pairs of woolen socks on the legs. And forget about Estonia and Russia once and for all. And if you go there, then only in the summer and as tourists.

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